19:59

last listened to: flower sun and rain soundtrack

hello! it's been a while!

i finished up a project today. very busy and tiring few weeks. i've been feeling a bit bad today but i feel a lot better today. saw some old friends recently, met someone from one of my online classes who recognized me by my jack frost pin because my class icon is of jack frost. the world can be so small! wish i talked to them more and got to know them better. maybe i'll see them again in the future.

internship has been going okay! we've been preparing for homecoming, so things have been pretty volatile. lots on my plate to work on during my shift tomorrow. it's going to be a long day. i get paid next week though!

spring break is soon... just one more week until i can be free, if only just for a bit! haven't been able to draw much this semester. i miss having an easy lecture class where i could half pay attention and just fill my little sketchbook with a bunch of doodles. haven't been able to get into anything new lately. i've found myself going back to mega man all of a sudden. starforce is my favorite mega man series even though i've only played the first game in full and barely started the second one. love geo lots. i remember i got into it the time i was mourning and grieving the baby so it left a huge impression on me. i downloaded some mega man soundtracks to my mp3 player and i've been listening to a lot of network transmission and zx's ost. need to pick up zx again sometime, i remember playing it a year ago during college but i dropped it cause i got so busy. just one more week!

22:38

currently listening to: the desert lounge volume two

hello... i actually was in the process of writing a journal entry a few days ago, but then i got a bit busy so i ended up accidentally forgetting about it. oops!

when i started writing my next entry, it was actually right after i finished a project that was tiring and tedious. but i got through it! i ordered a goochy the jellyfish beanie baby from ebay a few days prior and it came the day the project was due! it was my reward for finishing the project. :)

i've been wanting this one for a while! i'm trying really hard to budget my earnings but it is so hard when there are so many things you want to buy that are low in stock and also time-sensitive. ahhh!!!!

anyway... my graphic design professors had a conference to go to the past few days so they either had to cancel class or hold class online, so i thought i wouldn't be so busy. but as it turns out you can never be fully free when you're a graphic design major! this weekend isn't so bad, but i really have to be diligent so that i don't find myself stressed and rushing to get things done. sigh!

spring break is coming in a few weeks... praying that these next few weeks pass by quickly. and that i can snag all the stuff i want to on ebay before someone else does!

17:19

last listened to: disconnected - bitstream dream

hello! a rare moment of free time, so i'm cherishing it before i go back to doing homework.

lately my mental state hasn't been in the greatest spot most of the time. been starting to withdraw a lot more often, becoming more self-conscious about how i interact with people. it sucks that i can't react normally when people assert their boundaries or let me know when i do something that makes them uncomfortable. i always beat myself up over it even though it's such a small thing. sometimes i even cry about it and i tell myself not to cry, to reassure myself that it's not that big of a deal and that now i know better. but it still deeply hurts me anyway. a flaw in my programming. i hate when i feel myself going a few steps back in progress, and i know that it happens and is normal, but it is frustrating and upsetting when it happens nonetheless. i think it's better than how it used to be though, because not once did i ever think "i need to cut everyone off altogether", but instead i thought "i need some time for myself because i don't feel very good right now". slowly but surely.

i get paid for the first time in a few days! very excited about it. there's a ryou keychain i've been keeping my eyes on because i'm so scared that it will disappear before i get paid or on the day of. scary! i've set a budget so that i don't get excited and accidentally spend all the money i earned. starting to keep track of all my purchases now too. also making a list of things i want to buy and prioritizing the ones i want or need the most. unrelated, but i want to get acquainted with javascript so that it makes keeping track of all my future diary entries easier.

that is all for now... my cousin, who is going to my college, her birthday is today. i ended up getting a pc controller for her because she's interested in playing more games on her computer. she did consider getting a switch pro controller (which is.. a little past my budget) but we decided we'd go with this one since i had a friend who used it and liked it, and if she doesn't like it then we can set our sights on the pro controller. it's starting, my desire of buying things for people.